Cricket Chalisha

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div style="text-align: center;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;">जय सहवाग बल्ला गुणसागर, जय सचिन तोसे खेल उजागर, विराट पूत्र बल्ला घुमानां बाल मैदान पार पहूचाना, धौनी भैया बजरँगी, हेलीकाप्टर शोट की हो रही तंगी, शोट हम सब को भावै, दिलशान बाबा मुर्छित हो जावै, पगले यूवराज हम सब को सतावै, भाजी भूत चैन ले जावै, विरू जब रोद्र रूप दिखावै, मलिँगा भूत निकट ना आव</span></span></div> </div>

Cricket Chalisha

जय सहवाग बल्ला गुणसागर, जय सचिन तोसे खेल उजागर, विराट पूत्र बल्ला घुमानां बाल मैदान पार पहूचाना, धौनी भैया बजरँगी, हेलीकाप्टर शोट की हो रह...

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Jokes [MUST READ]

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;">-=[2]=- A mathmatician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume. The mathmatician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral. The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water, and measured the total displacement. The engineer looked up the model and serial numbers in his red-rubber-ball table. -----o0o----- </span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;">-=[3]=- What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build .targets. -----o0o---- </span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;">-=[4]=- The wireless telegraph is not difficult to understand. The ordinary telegraph is like a very long cat. You pull the tail in New York, and it meows in Los Angeles. The wireless is the same, only without the cat. -----o0o----</span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"> -=[5]=- Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin. Horrified Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions. NASA's response was just one sentence,"THAW THE CHICKEN!" -----o0o---- </span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;">-=[6]=- An astronaut in space was asked by a reporter,"How do you feel?" "How would you feel,"the astronout replied,"if you were stuck here, on top of 20,000 parts each one supplied by the lowest bidder?" ----o0o---- -</span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;">=[7]=- During the heat of the space race in the 1960's, NASA decided it needed a ball point pen to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules. After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of $1 million. The pen worked and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on earth. The Soviet Union, faced with the same problem, used a pencil. -----. ...o0o--- </span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;">-=[8]=- If it wasn't for Thomas Alva Edison, we'd all be watching TV to the light of a candle. ----o0o---- -</span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;">=[9]=- An engineer, a mathmatician and an arts graduate were given the task of finding the height of a church steeple (the first to get the correct solution wins a $1000). The engineer tried to remember things about differential pressures, but resorted to climbing the steeple and lowering a string on a plumb bob until it touched the ground and then climbed down and measured the length of the string. The Mathematician layed out a reference line, measured the angle to the top of the steeple from both ends and worked out the height by trigonometry. However, the arts graduate won the prize. He bought the vicar a beer in the local pub and he told him how high the church steeple was. -----o0o----- </span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;">-=[10]=- The great mathematician John Von Neumann was consulted by a group who was building a rocket ship to send into outer space. When he saw the incomplete structure, he asked,"Where did you get the plans for this ship?" He was told,"We have our own staff of engineers." He disdainfully replied:"Engineers! Why, I have complete sewn up the whole mathematical theory of rocketry. See my paper of 1952." Well, the group consulted the 1952 paper, completely scrapped their 10 million dollar structure, and rebuilt the rocket exactly according to Von Neumann's plans. The minute they launched it, the entire structure blew up. They angrily called Von Neumann back and said:"We followed your instructions to the letter. Yet when we started it, it blew up! Why?" Von Neumann replied,"Ah, yes; that is technically known as the blow-up problem - I treated that in my paper of 1954." -----o0o---- </span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;">-=[11]=- An engineering student is walking along when a fellow student arrives on a new bicycle. Impressed, . ...he asks,"Where did you got this beautiful bicycle?" "Well,"the second engineering student says,"A couple of days ago I was just walking along when this georgeous blonde pulls up, hops off the bike, rips off all her clothes, and says'take what you want'." The other engineering student nods and says"Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit." -----o0o---- </span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div> </div>

Jokes [MUST READ]

-=[2]=- A mathmatician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume. The mathmatician ca...

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ENGINEERS

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div style="text-align: center;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;">o0----------------0o </span></span></div> <div style="text-align: center;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;">-o0o- </span></span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;">Three men: a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer are helping out on a project. About midweek they decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says"Normally I would grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant you each one wish." The hardware engineer went first."I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas with no money worries."The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas. The software engineer went next."I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean with no money worries."The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean. Last, but not least, it was the project manager's turn."And what would your wish be?"asked the genie. "I want them both back after lunch"replied the project manager. </span></span></div> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"><br /></span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"><br /></span> <div style="text-align: center;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;">----o0o----</span></span></div> </div>

ENGINEERS

o0----------------0o  -o0o-    Three men: a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer are helping out on a project...

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